Keep silent, watch, and be positive


One thing I really want to do now is to be more supportive to Fasha, and always be positive about what he does.  No, being positive is not always about agreeing on something.  You can still be critical but in a positive way.

This post now is about our weekend soccer games.  Fasha had a total of four games, two on Saturday and two on Sunday.

We went to Highway Q Rush Wisconsin soccer  field on Saturday morning at 8:15ish in the morning.  We knew that playing against  the Bavarian Soccer Club from Milwaukee was not easy.  This club has reputation of solid soccer education.  Fasha had good memory playing against this team last fall season.  He made a hattrick when we played at their home field in Milwaukee last fall and won convincingly 2-8 or so.  But this time we lost we a final score of 3-6.  Fasha made a really good effort in scoring from the outside of the penalty box (See picture above; credit photo: Mark Buttner).

When we went home, I asked if he was happy about how I behaved during the game.  He said “Yes I am happy that you did not yell at me at the sideline to give instruction, but where were you because I did not see you?”  Of course he said that in Indonesian :).

“Yes I was happy that you did not yell at the sideline to give instruction, but where were you because I did not see you?”

“So what I could do better? ” I asked.  “I want you to be at the sideline so I could see you, but please continue to just watch and enjoy the game.  You can give thumbs up or say ‘good job’ when I do something that make you happy.  But also I want you to be somewhere where I can easily find you,” he asked again.

Another dimension of that moment was that I have tried harder to be more positive (lesson learned!).  It was relatively not as difficult as I originally thought, because Fasha made a couple of really good goals and assists during the weekend.  From that stand point, I could easily be a positive person when having conversation with Fasha.  I was able to use some of the common ways to put my points forward such as “that was really good Fasha that you tried to make a pass to so and so, but what can you do differently?”  And some other things.

One stupid thing I did, though, was I made fun about his limited ability to be a defender too far.  I said something like “I noticed that everyone in your team take their turn to play in a few different positions, why do you think you continuously play as a forward?”  And then I said that “maybe because they know you suck on on defending?”  If you know me, you would know how I could come with that statement.  But even still, it was TOO FAR and Fasha was really unhappy about how I made fun of him!  I know I was very stupid to say that!

I have learned my lessons, both the goods and the very bads.